TIPS for PARENTS:
How can a parent help to foster healthy self-esteem in
a child?
Watch what you say. Kids are very sensitive to parents' words. Remember to
praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. But be truthful.
For example, if your child doesn't make the soccer team, avoid saying something
like, "Well, next time you'll work harder and make it." Instead, try "Well,
you didn't make the team, but I'm really proud of the effort you put into it." Reward
effort and completion instead of outcome.
Be a positive role model. If you're
excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities
and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem,
and your child will have a great role model.
Identify and redirect your child's
inaccurate beliefs. It's important for parents to identify kids' irrational beliefs
about themselves, whether they're about perfection, attractiveness, ability,
or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic
in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate
perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. For example, a
child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, "I can't
do math. I'm a bad student." Not
only is this a false generalization, it's also a belief that will set the child
up for failure. Encourage kids to see a situation in its true light. A helpful
response might be: "You are a good student. You do great in school. Math
is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We'll work on it together."
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